I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
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