McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
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He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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