she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
