k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
