Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
