the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
