Pappa wants mamma naked
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Randomize
