covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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