if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
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