you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize
