More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
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