he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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