They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
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