i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
i just sent this text using only my big toe
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Randomize
