I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
She swung at the pinata with crutches
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize