We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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