Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Randomize
