redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Panties = found
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
