WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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