the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Randomize
