don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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