we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
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