I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
