Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
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