Texts From Last Night

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  (301): View more from Maryland

  You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope

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  (301): You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope http://tfl.nu/v6u5
  Replies (2) Good night (3878) Bad night (527)
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  (225): View more from Louisiana

  ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today

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  (225): ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today http://tfl.nu/mtu3
  Replies (17) Good night (1183) Bad night (9367)
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.

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  (978): She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent. http://tfl.nu/hcxv
  Replies (8) Good night (4081) Bad night (951)
• Favorite

  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.

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  (414): I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before. http://tfl.nu/ok9g
  Replies (4) Good night (1064) Bad night (2014)
• Favorite

  (517): View more from Michigan

  this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.

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  (517): this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving. http://tfl.nu/l5cn
  Replies (1) Good night (1256) Bad night (1064)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.

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  (+44): I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness. http://tfl.nu/lp3m
  Replies (5) Good night (1355) Bad night (544)
• Favorite

  (252): View more from North Carolina

  I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds

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  (252): I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds http://tfl.nu/g7b7
  Replies (5) Good night (979) Bad night (633)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy

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  (214): Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy http://tfl.nu/ff3b
  Replies (6) Good night (856) Bad night (568)
• Favorite

  (719): View more from Colorado

  Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.

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  (719): Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever. http://tfl.nu/fluu
  Replies (24) Good night (514) Bad night (3983)
• Favorite

  (336): View more from North Carolina

  Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question

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  (336): Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question http://tfl.nu/9vj8
  Replies (12) Good night (1476) Bad night (371)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"

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  (248): Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion" http://tfl.nu/821u
  Replies (3) Good night (716) Bad night (298)
• Favorite

  (+35): View more from

  Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?

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  (+35): Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean? http://tfl.nu/kb5k
  Replies (1) Good night (252) Bad night (324)
• Favorite

  (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes

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  (321): I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes http://tfl.nu/1qw5
  Replies (0) Good night (565) Bad night (230)
• Favorite

  (250): View more from British Columbia

  It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.

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  (250): It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt. http://tfl.nu/flxk
  Replies (2) Good night (451) Bad night (244)
• Favorite

  (662): View more from Mississippi

  She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.

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  (662): She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER. http://tfl.nu/ip4a
  Replies (5) Good night (254) Bad night (652)

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