Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
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How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
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Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!