Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
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why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
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No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?