White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
When did angry sex become our thing?
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
