...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
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