Texts From Last Night

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  (707): View more from California

  Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.

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  (707): Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver. http://tfl.nu/8bap
  Replies (11) Good night (1620) Bad night (637)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc

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  (201): whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc http://tfl.nu/bhl3
  Replies (31) Good night (1740) Bad night (717)
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  (828): View more from North Carolina

  Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us

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  (828): Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us http://tfl.nu/ml7j
  Replies (3) Good night (2853) Bad night (760)
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  (415): View more from California

  Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.

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  (415): Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it. http://tfl.nu/inu8
  Replies (10) Good night (5364) Bad night (712)
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  (315): View more from New York

  I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.

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  (315): I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before. http://tfl.nu/hqeq
  Replies (23) Good night (4656) Bad night (659)
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  (416): View more from Ontario

  today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added

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  (416): today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added http://tfl.nu/jtyi
  Replies (13) Good night (5119) Bad night (636)
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  (716): View more from New York

  i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.

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  (716): i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody. http://tfl.nu/l0aj
  Replies (7) Good night (3351) Bad night (837)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex

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  (314): For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex http://tfl.nu/vblx
  Replies (20) Good night (1326) Bad night (4593)
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  (+64): View more from New Zealand

  was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??

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  (+64): was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ?? http://tfl.nu/6vfo
  Replies (10) Good night (3502) Bad night (873)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.

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  (814): Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark. http://tfl.nu/ixe0
  Replies (2) Good night (1526) Bad night (553)
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  (646): View more from New York

  Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.

  (347): View more from New York

  Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!

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  (646): Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee. (347): Wait a min, you had drugs last night?! http://tfl.nu/3nfc
  Replies (1) Good night (1304) Bad night (793)
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  (551): View more from New Jersey

  Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.

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  (551): Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win. http://tfl.nu/l1vw
  Replies (12) Good night (1475) Bad night (498)
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  (585): View more from New York

  just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use

  (716): View more from New York

  how?

  (585): View more from New York

  not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days

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  (585): just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use (716): how? (585): not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days http://tfl.nu/m616
  Replies (12) Good night (2081) Bad night (582)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.

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  (202): I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself. http://tfl.nu/zw8t
  Replies (3) Good night (633) Bad night (366)
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  (607): View more from New York

  She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam

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  (607): She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam http://tfl.nu/1ft8
  Replies (3) Good night (154) Bad night (776)

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