i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
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