how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
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