Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
She's JV to your varsity
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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