The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Randomize
