I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
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