Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
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But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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