Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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