i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
