he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Rumble strips road head = magical
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
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