i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Randomize
