did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
