Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
