I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
What drink are we having for lunch?
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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