it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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