he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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