Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Randomize
