i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
