Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
it's like heaven, but drunker
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
