I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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