Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
