omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
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