You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
