You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
