I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Randomize
