Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
