I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Randomize
