Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
