"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
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