Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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