My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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