The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
