this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
And then my night got REAL pukey
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
