she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
