No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Randomize
