After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
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