so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
cat food counts as protein by the way
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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