Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize